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Its 3 am..i cant sleep..I believe its insomnia that has been giving me so many sleepless nights..Dark...lonely nights ,with a feeling of desolate desperation..What causes this feeling?I have thought over this time and time again but never reached a satisfactory conclusion...sometimes the feeling of frustration deepens as I am faced with a cruel,cold and practical reality that at the end of the day i am still alone..the pain that this face hides and the darkening emotions can only be understood by that lonely heart..what makes me talk like this?I can never fathom the reason..But time after time this feeling dogs me,haunts me and then again I start searching for those elusive answers to the questions I ask myself..how does one find pleasure in someone else's pain? Why are they so bothered about whats going on in someone else's life? why don't they go away ,find new victims..How do you fight the darkness trying to surface? How do you control your darker side when they start weighing heavily on your other side..Is it really the darker side or is it being just "human"? How do you handle the pain threatening to tear you apart, when the music is blaring at eardrum splitting level and yet you cant hear a thing...something is gone, something that was once called "innocence"
Its 3 am..i cant sleep..I believe its insomnia that has been giving me so many sleepless nights..Dark...lonely nights ,with a feeling of desolate desperation..What causes this feeling?I have thought over this time and time again but never reached a satisfactory conclusion...sometimes the feeling of frustration deepens as I am faced with a cruel,cold and practical reality that at the end of the day i am still alone..the pain that this face hides and the darkening emotions can only be understood by that lonely heart..what makes me talk like this?I can never fathom the reason..But time after time this feeling dogs me,haunts me and then again I start searching for those elusive answers to the questions I ask myself..how does one find pleasure in someone else's pain? Why are they so bothered about whats going on in someone else's life? why don't they go away ,find new victims..How do you fight the darkness trying to surface? How do you control your darker side when they start weighing heavily on your other side..Is it really the darker side or is it being just "human"? How do you handle the pain threatening to tear you apart, when the music is blaring at eardrum splitting level and yet you cant hear a thing...something is gone, something that was once called "innocence"
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Things refuse to leave my mind,its like moving pictures in my head..Its so much easier to just run away,bury the pain,replace the pain with numbness. My friend asked me why my blog always has such depressing stuff...I didn't have an answer then but I have one now..its because thats the strongest emotion.. Happy moments are like mirages..they disappear if you get too close.. But the Pain remains..The Memories remain..the Hollowness increases threatening to swallow you completely...smothering you...leaving you cold....and the worst part is that there is no one you can turn to except for yourself…that’s the reason you recede deeper into the shell that you create around you...This hypocritical,shallow,cold world is creeping me out…The more I fight against it the crueler it becomes..Friends turn foes, lovers turn strangers…The meaning of emotions,relationships change in a minute.. There is no such thing as “true love or friendship”.. Its an illusion and if you make the folly then you pay , pay with everything you have got, with the last shred of emotion left in you..It takes away your smile and the glint in your eyes...
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Courtesy:Shani
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